Coming Out in New Jersey

Coming out seems the thing to be doing in New Jersey it seems these days. Our grand governor has done just that in the past week ... and of course we can expect all the dirty laundry to follow. While I'm not fan of McGreevy's I can and have said that no one's personal history can withstand glaring scrutiny. Put most simply ... I believe everyone has a skeleton or two ... (maybe even three) ... in the closet that they'd prefer didn't make the rounds about town. In New Jersey these skeletons may also be found buried in the basement or backyard ... but we'll save that for another story ... or you can wait until the new seaon starts at the Bada-Bing Club.


The updating that has been more and more clearly making itself present in my mind and in my writing recently points most obviously to my consideration of the MythoSelf work as a spiritual path. Now comes the hard part ... if that can be taken as true ... that the MythoSelf work in reality can be called a spiritual path ... then it must mean that if I teach this work I am a spiritual teacher ... Aaaaagh! (a direct quote from Charlie Brown in Peanuts by Schultz ... I always want to be true to the source). You see I never wanted to be, nor do I want to be now, a "spiritual teacher" ... in part because of my own unique prejudices and in part because of all the baggage I think this designation carries with it. The baggage I think it carries with it includes the idea that if one proclaims themselves a "spiritual teacher" it must mean that they are saying they're saintly ... and therefore without sin. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!!! I can assure you when a spiritual teacher shits ... it stinks just the same ... only it stinks all the way to high heaven.


The point for me in regard to this has to do with the realization I hold of this work being a path to a realization that can be called "transcendent" although as I've stated in an earlier blog ... I prefer the idea of transparence to transcendence. And along the way I haven't not sinned, nor do I claim my sins forgotten or even necessarily forgiven ... just that I am aware that I have and do sin as well as anyone. One of my particular sins has been that of procrastination and with that avoidance ... not the virtues of warriors as normally they are considered. A manifestation of this for me includes my tendency to overcommit .... then fail to follow through ... all with the best of intentions ... yet failing just the same to make good my word. Now I know the "easy" solution would be to commit less ... or in the true tradition of spiritual teachers not to commit at all or do so so vaguely as to suggest no commitment at all ... if I could do this with a suggestion of profundity so much the better. Yet the reality of it remains that on the other side I don't always deliver what I say I will ... regardless of intention.


So what kind of spiritual teacher does that make me? Not I very spiritual one by some accounts I guess. Yet what I do consistently and continue to do consistently has been to hold the line for myself ... to stay awake and aware ... even while I sin ... and to keep updating the system. I'd like to apologize for my failings and shortcomings ... however I know better than this ... an apology often becomes an excuse masked and hiding in disguse. The apology doesn't change the manifest result of the failing and/or the shortcoming ... so there it remains ... exposed ... the skeleton pointing it's bony finger of accusation just the same.


Now, so we're clear about it, there can be no apology for what hasn't and won't likely change ... and in this case that remains the case ... I'm unlikely to change in this regard. So what you could expect of me would be a pattern of intention running just short of realization ... in some regards ... and yet a burst of clarity and complete manifestation in the extant reality I experience and generate in others. I think this makes me "human" ... there I've said it. "I AM HUMAN" ... and this I think may be the most successful quality a spiritual teacher can possibly offer ... and all I have in any case.


That's all for now ... until next time,


Joseph